Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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