Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize