I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
