So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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