kristin has been a bad kristin
Duck Duck Cougar?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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