Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
