just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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