Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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