I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
