CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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