I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
