She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
