And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
