I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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