you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
