chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
