Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize