Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
