I'm really into asian looking animals
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
