Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
