found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
