If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
