I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
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It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize