Taylor Swift is so right about you.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
