Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
