just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize