I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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