It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
