I accidentally burped into my bong.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
