First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize