I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
