Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
this is an emotional support booty call
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
