My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize