Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
