i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
