He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
