You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
