I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I believe in your delicious
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
