Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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