i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
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just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!