i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she smelled like a LAN party
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
