So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
