And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
