This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
