well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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