It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
