His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Say something about gay babies.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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