moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
