Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
