Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
