Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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