"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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