I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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