I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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