Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
