I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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