why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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