apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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