Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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