guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
