I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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