her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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